Perfect
by CrimsonTearsKK
Summary: Song-fic to Perfect by Simple Plan from Draco. READ and REVIEW please! Warning: mentions Self-mutilation, child abuse…. Probably other stuff too, so watch out
1. Perfect

**Title: Perfect **

**Genre: Angst**

**Warning: mentions Self-mutilation, child abuse.. Probably other stuff too, so watch out**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Draco even. I owe nothing; the song is called perfect by Simple Plan. This is also my first song-fic so be nice to me, its supposed to be a one shot, but if anyone wants me to continue it, I have to have at least 10 reviews, and reasons why, and where I should pick it up at.**

_Hey dad look at me_

_Think back and talk to me_

_Did I grow up according to plan?_

_Do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?_

_but it hurts when you disapprove all along_

Father, take a good look at me, do you see what you wanted to see? Do you see your perfect little deatheater son? Did I grow up according to your prefect plan? You look at me as your slave not a son.. But now I am going to finally do the things I want to do. I bet you think it's a waste of time to write especially what I am writing now, I know you want a cold, unfeeling son but you got me, I feel I have emotions and I know you hate that about me.

_And now I try hard to make it_

_I just want to make you proud_

_I'm never gonna be good enough for you_

_I can't pretend that I'm alright_

_And you can't change me_

I am just trying to make it in the world; I want you to be proud of your son. I work so hard on all my classes but that Granger keeps on beating me is it my fault she is just better. I will never be good enough for you; I will never be a good enough son. I can't pretend I am alright anymore its too hard to keep my mask of ice, people call me the 'ice prince' but now I am dropping it, I am going to act like me, and you can't change me.

_Cuz we lost it all_

_Nothing lasts forever_

_I'm sorry_

_I can't be perfect_

_Now it's just too late and_

_We can't go back_

_I'm sorry_

_I can't be perfect_

We have lost it all, this would have never lasted forever, I'm sorry but I can't be perfect anymore, I never was perfect, I always had flaws, and now everyone can see how many flaws I have. I used to have perfect skin on my arm but no more, I have flawed skin, for the nights I spent alone trying to think of a way. but it was just me and my knife for all the times I failed at being perfect. We can't go back now, it's too late, everything already happened. I'm sorry I am not perfect.

_I try not to think_

_About the pain I feel inside_

_Did you know you used to be my hero?_

_All the days you spend with me_

_Now seem so far away_

_And it feels like you don't care anymore_

I try to not think about the pain I can't handle on the inside, but I can show my pain on the outside, you made me a rock, I can't cry anymore, the only way I can is through red tears dripping down my arms at night. You used to be my hero, I used to want to do everything like you, even follow that ugly mudblood, yes father your following a mudblood, you almighty pureblood is following orders for a mudblood, it disgusts me now. You used to spend time with me, but now the dark lord is back you don't anymore. Those days seem so far away, do you even care about me anymore, or do u just care about your master?

_And now I try hard to make it_

_I just want to make you, proud_

_I'm never gonna be good enough for you_

_I can't stand another fight_

_And nothing's alright_

_Cuz we lost it all_

_Nothing lasts forever_

_I'm sorry_

_I can't be perfect_

_Now it's just too late and_

_We can't go back_

_I'm sorry_

_I can't be perfect_

I am stilling trying to make it without a father; I just want to make you proud. For once that you would say there is my son, isn't he a good son? I just want one word of gratitude but no all I get is you aren't fit to be a Malfoy, you can't handle anything, and you torture me for not being perfect. I tried to argue but no it always ends with one word, Crucio. As I lie on the ground twitching waiting for you to life the curse you finally do, but by then nothing alright. I learned after many nights like that that I will never be good enough for you.

_Nothing's gonna change the things that you said_

_Nothing's gonna make this right again_

_Please don't turn your back_

_I can't believe it's hard_

_Just to talk to you_

_But you don't understand_

Nothing will change the words you said when you learned I wasn't going to be a deatheater, the torture was better than the spiteful words you threw at me, You are not a Malfoy, you aren't good enough to be called a son. You're a worthless piece of shit; you don't deserve to follow a great master like him. I never want to see you ugly face ever again. Your just a freak, I saw your arms, I will not have a self-mutilator as a son. I never want you to step foot in the house again. You turn to leave, I can't believe it was this painful just to talk to you, I wanted to be a man, and tell you straight out I wasn't going to do it. That I was going to choose my own way, but it turned out that you had one of the house elves, throw me out the door into a car, and left me outside the gates. I still see the gates closing on me, and hear them slamming shut. I can't believe you just did that to your only son, that you left me to die on the streets.

_Cuz we lost it all_

_Nothing lasts forever_

_I'm sorry_

_I can't be perfect_

_Now it's just too late and_

_We can't go back_

_I'm sorry_

_I can't be perfect_

You thought I would die on the streets and never make it, I made it though. It was only 2 days before the Hogwarts Express left. I know someone will go collect my stuff, as I walked on the train, no one asked why I looked like shit, because I have no friends thanks to you father. Crabbe and Goyle wouldn't even look at me anymore because I am guessing you told them not to associate with me. I surprised you didn't kill me. I found an empty compartment only to have Potter walk in. I couldn't even tease him but he said for the first time someone was actually worried. "Are you alright, Malfoy?" I didn't even answer, I just sat there, and he sat down too. We didn't talk to whole way there, but he watched me, he even told Weasley and Granger to go away. He was a wreck himself, I saw him wince in pain when he moved, the same thing I do after you torture me. You lost me all because I can't be perfect. I'm sorry I couldn't be perfect or a good Malfoy, but I am now a good Draco. I still cut even though you're out of my life, the pain you brought me is now bringing me good pain, pain I cause and pain I can deal with. I am at a brink of suicide, and you can't change that. I just hope that you will once fell sorry for trying to make me perfect.


	2. Numb

**Title: Numb**

**Genre: Angst**

**Warning: mentions Self-mutilation, child abuse.. Probably other stuff too, so watch out**

**Disclaimer:_ I don't own Harry Potter or Draco even. I owe nothing; the song is called Numb by Linkin Park. This is also my first song-fic so be nice to me, its supposed to be a one shot, but I just felt it calling back to me, so here is a new chapter, by request I will do numb, probably Harry's perspective the same time Draco was in the Perfect one_.**

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

_Feeling so faithless lost under the surface_

_Don't know what you're expecting of me_

Why can't I ever be happy? What makes me so different? Is this damn scar on my forehead? Oh yeah I forgot I am the Savior of the Wizarding World. Once again I am not allowed to visit the Burrow this year. But this year is different, I don't care all I do is put them in dangerous situations, and get people killed. It's a good thing that I can't visit there maybe I will die at my own hands or the hands of my uncle.

_Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes_

_Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow_

You don't even realize I feel this way at all, but I do. Caught up in all the pressure of being the Savior. I bet you don't realize the Savior is an act, a mask to protect Harry from you. You would never like Harry, he isn't perfect, he isn't a Savior. He is not even mentally stable, well at least you would say that but Harry is me that is hidden under the pretense of the Savior. Oh shit, my uncle is coming.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I've become so tired so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

That was the worst beating I ever got. Pain is just radiating through my body. Why can't I end this misery? Why can't I just die? What a piece of shit, I am supposed to save everyone. God, I don't remember the muggles sending a little boy to stop Hitler when he was in power. But they expect me to destroy Voldemort. And people would say I have a few screws loose in my head for cutting? Yet they believe this bullshit. I started to loose feeling of myself, I am starting to loose the feelings. Feeling get you hurt, not having feelings doesn't. By the time I go back to Hogwarts I will be an empty shell, but they will never see that they will only see that damned Savior.

_Can't you see that you're smothering me_

_Holding too tightly afraid to lose control_

_Cause everything that you thought I would be_

_Has fallen apart right in front of you_

Why does everyone think I need to be controlled, that I need to be watched and made sure that I did everything the way it was supposed to happen. I am being to wonder if Hagrid was sent to here to make sure that I was told Voldemort was in Slytherin, so I wouldn't go there. What if its all been planned, my life is an experiment? What if I would have been in Slytherin? Would I still be in this abusive household? He knows what goes on in this house yet he never stops it? Thinks I will be controlled and seeking love and affection from him again. Its time for the damn Savior to die and them to meet Harry, oh wouldn't the Prophet love this. "Has Harry Potter gone dark?" Mass chaos would happen, their precious perfect Savior gone dark. Its all falling apart Dumbledore, you can't control my life anymore like you control chess pieces.

_Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow_

_And every second I waste is more than I can take_

I can't believe I stayed in this perfect image for so long, I just can't believe no one saw through. Well expect one Severus Snape, he looks and he sees a troublemaker, punishing me at every chance he gets, and yet I like him so much more than say Dumbledore. At least he isn't trying to control everything I do. No he sees who I am and punishes me for it. Maybe Draco does too, he sees a ruin when everyone else sees a pedestal when they look at me. My enemies seem to know me more than my so-called friends do. Enemies, well that's a lie because I am just like them, expect my life was planned, I was tricked into Gryiffindor. When I should have really been in Slytherin.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I've become so tired so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

I think I am finally done. I am asking for a resorting, I can't believe I dealt with those goody two shoes that long. I can't believe that everyone thinks I am mindless drone that can be told what to do, and what to believe. I can't believe I have been lied to my entire life, that I am just a tool in this war nothing more. I am a bloody pawn. Dumbledore is just as bad as Voldemort. I may not side with either sides at this moment, I just want this to be over, so I can die finally. No one in my life would care if Harry died, but everyone would care about the Savior dying.

_And I know_

_I may end up failing too_

_But I know_

_You were just like me with someone disappointed in you_

I am finally out of that hell hole, I can't believe I survived, as soon as I stepped into the station, I casted an glamour and perfect one at that, you could look at my arm and see no cuts no nothing, no scars. I was the Savior again in everyone's eyes, but soon they will know, that this is not their Golden Boy it's the real Harry and nothing else, just Harry no more of that Gryffindor's Golden Boy. I took a seat in this compartment at the end, and didn't realize anyone was there, until I saw Draco, he looked like a complete mess just like I would have.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I've become so tired so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

I showed care for Draco, I can't believe I did, I asked him "Are you alright, Malfoy?" He must not be because he never answered me, he just sat there looking at me. Like he was thinking on what to say. We just sat there looking at each other, I saw when he moved he winced in pain. He didn't look like the ice prince anymore, he looked nothing more than a broken child, but I am one to talk right, he looks the part and acts a part of it. I don't do anything no one knows what happens on Privet Drive but me and Dumbledore. I move to try and get more comfortable, doesn't work, my clothes run again the abrasions on my back, and I wince automatically. I am sure if Draco noticed or not, but still we sat in silence.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

A little later, the door opens in come Ron and Hermoine. Great, this ought to be fun. They start talking freaking fast. I heard, "Where you been", "Is that Malfoy", "Why the hell are you sitting with Malfoy?" that was enough of that. I just stood up and said "Get the hell out right now, I don't want to hear you, go away!" They were shocked, I looked over to Malfoy, and no nothing. Maybe I was just trying to get him to react to the insults or something. But absolutely nothing, it was like trying to get an empty soul to smile. The whole way there not a single word was said after that, just each other presences were enough for both of us.

_**Well that's the end of this chapter. Hope you like it.**_


End file.
